


Amor, ch'a nullo amato amar perdona

by Sondheimgirl19



Category: The Favourite (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 17:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17492102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sondheimgirl19/pseuds/Sondheimgirl19
Summary: The ending scene and what was going on in the queen's head.





	Amor, ch'a nullo amato amar perdona

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic on the site. English is not my first language, so please forgive the, probably, obscure prose and grammar.  
> The title is taken from the V canto of the "Divina Commedia", by Dante Alighieri, Obviously the context from which the verse it's taken is different, but I love that verse.  
> Enjoy!

She wouldn’t have done it. Her dear- no, she mustn’t, _mustn’t think_ of the Duchess as hers anymore, it would only led to more heartache- would have never done such a thing. How cruel.

She was laying in her bed, sleeping a restless slumber, when she heard it: the desperate cry of pain of one of her children. And suddenly she was taken back, to her children’s bedside, to her bloodied bedchamber, stillborn after stillborn, miscarriage after miscarriage, with no comfort but Sar- the Duchess’ constant presence. She tried to get up, after all one of her little ones was being hurt, and she saw Abigail, her foot pressing the bunny into the floor, the hold becoming stronger by the seconds, until she realised it, letting the rabbit hop away from her grasp.

Then she could not take it anymore: her mind crumbled just as her body did, trying desperately to reach for the secret passage that would have taken her to Sarah. She remembered, though, that Sarah was gone.

Sarah. Sarah. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.

The name carved in her heart, the name she was slowing trying to erase from her soul, made itself known again.

_“She would have never done it. She didn’t like them, but she would have never hurt them. Never. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. You would have never done it.”_

She could hear Abigail words of concern while she was hosting herself up against the door, recoiling from her touch, repulsed by her hand.

«Don’t touch me. »

_You disgust me_.

«I’m sorry». Anne found her blue eyes revolting. They were cold as she was, after Sarah’s departure.

«I did not ask you to speak. »

_Your words disgust me_.

Once she was up, she looked down on the girl.

«Rub my leg. »

_O my love, I’m so sorry_.

A memory came to her mind: black hair instead of blonde one, a delightful grin and thrilled fingers.

She was about to throw up.

«I feel dizzy. I need something to hold on to. » She then grabbed a handful of thin blonde hair, Abigail whimpering in pain.

_You should be hurt. You hurt me. You hurt them. You hurt us. You hurt her. You made us hurt each other._

She felt nothing.

But in this nothingness, she saw and heard.

Sarah’s smile the first time they met.

Their first kiss.

Hair on her shoulder.

“I love you”

“Promise you will never leave me”

“You are mine”

Letters and letters and letters.

Ink, flowers, grass.

Spring and Summer in her eyes.

“I love you”

“Please, more”

“As you wish, my darling”

Limbs entangled.

Fingers aching to touch.

Lips aching to kiss.

“I love you”

“Dearest one, I’m so sorry”

“I can’t do it anymore”

Imagines, memories and everything in between were messing with her mind.

Until she felt something: a solitary tear trailing down her cheek.

_I miss you my love. So very much._


End file.
